What happens when the young adult’s self regulation skills are not adequate to handle their current stress levels? When the smallest item or situation causes an emotional outburst which leaves everyone exhausted? When you can see they are not coping and are starting to withdraw- usually in unhelpful ways. These actions are called displacement activities and range from cleaning out their cupboard, to taking rest breaks every 10 minutes throughout the day, to trying drugs and alcohol.
They move from being motivated and under pressure into the danger zone where their performance starts to stall and then drop. The more pressured they feel, the more their study goals etc go undone, and ultimately they become clinically distressed. At this point they become dysfunctional emotionally, cognitively and even physically.
The biggest concern is not only will this response impact on their exam results. It also sets the pattern for how they will respond to high levels of pressure in their future.
Research shows teenagers who have high anxiety and DO NOT learn the appropriate skills to self manage it, stand an 80% of experiencing depression in their 30’s.
When the pressure to perform is too high
It does not matter how many times we may have said
- “VCE / IB is not the end of the world”;
- “It is only a step in your journey to a career”
- “It’ll be fine”…
What our Year 12 hears and feels is what matters to them, and this becomes the biggest influence on how they respond to anything and everything.
Our role as Parents and Teachers for the next 10+ weeks is to be the steady guiding presence which enables the young adult to feel supported whilst they practice their self regulation skills.
Sometimes those self regulation skills are enough to keep them focused, energised and motivated to get through the pre-exam and exam time well and emotionally intact. An occasional outburst goes with the situation, and in fact may even be expected. In many instances it may still be healthy.
