Domestic & Family Violence
People who use violence in their family relationship often become isolated, depressed and unsupported. Their families move away from them. They are alone. This causes major problems that impact our society like anxiety, depression, loneliness, etc. We can’t afford to turn a blind eye.
Barbara Craven, a leading psychotherapist Melbourne and her team at Changed Insights is dedicated to putting a stop to this so we can live in more functional & happier socities that result in more functional and happier families.
Domestic Violence Australia: Some Facts to Know!
1 in 5 Australian women experience family abuse and violence
75% of Domestic Violence events reported have been perpetrated by men. This figure has not reduced over the last 15 years. One women a week died in 2024 due to Domestic Family Violence (Source: Australian Burenu of Stastics 2024)
Men's Unresolved Mental Health postively associated with increased Family Violence & Domestic Abuse
Research shows men who do not resolve their Depression, PTSD, Extreme Stress and Anxiety are more likely to find themselves acting out in their families with anger, irritability, and aggression. (Source: Thomas 2019, Shorey 2012)
65% men who attended MBCP were violence free 2 years later after seeking therapy or counselling
65% of the men who completed their Men's Behaviour Change Programme, sought therapy or counselling in order to support their change journey. A significant majority of these men were violence Free 2 years later and were able to maintain it for a further 2 years. (Source: Monash Uni 2016)
Therapy For Men Who Use Violence
The choice to use Domestic Violence and Family Abuse is complicated. Changing these abusive behaviours needs therapy and /or counselling that’s specifically suited to domestic abuse.
It needs to focus on unpacking and resolving those psychological triggers that underlie the choices made that resorts to violence.
Barbara Craven the Founder of Changed Insights along with being a leading psychotherapist Melbourne is an experienced Domestic Violence and Family Abuse Practitioner who has specialised in treating male perpetrators who want to change their behaviours in their families.
She helps men to have safe, respectful and loving relationships with their partner and/ or children.
For people who use violence, Barbara’s focus is on improving your ability to have positive loving relationships in your life.
This involves:
- A Domestic Family Violence Assessment of your personal history and psychological triggers.
- A jointly developed Change Plan.
- The use of psychotherapies proven to enable the change of violence and abusive behaviours,
- Counselling to resolve the various life issues which make changing family behaviour difficult.
Therapy For Domestic Violence Abusers
No-one wants to acknowledge they abuse their loved ones, use violence to get their own way. Sometimes we even deny it to ourselves!
It takes personal courage to admit to oneself that ” Well maybe I did do something that made my family afraid.”
Attending a Mens Behaviour change Program (MBC) is a very good idea, but it is not enough.
Mens Counselling and Therapy are critical to changing your own behaviours. It gives you:
- better self understanding – why you do what you do when you so desperately do not want to
- new and updated skills – that help you create more love, respect, safety & overall positive relationships.
- improved ability to make better decisions about your emotional and overall relationship needs.
Book a FREE 20-Minute Chat
The purpose of this chat is for you to determine if our approach is going to work for you. Lawyers and Men’s Service Case Managers are welcome to use this time to discuss their clients.
Family Violence Intervention Order
Changed Insights works closely with police and lawyers across Melbourne along with other services and so we have a good understanding of family violence intervention orders which are sadly on the rise across Australia. If you have been issued a family violence intervention order please ensure you understand your rights. Speak to a lawyer or your local police for more information.
FAQ
Common Questions on Therapy For Men Who Use Violence
Barbara and her team at Changed Insights have helped and counselled hundreds of men who have wanted to change their abusive behaviours. They have worked with men who have shouted abuse to men who have thrown their partners across the room. We have heard it before.
What’s important – is YOU know what you have done.
Changed Insights knows how to help you change.
We suspect what you really mean in your question is – Can you help me? To this question we answer YES – if you want to make the necessary changes we will support and guide you every step of the way.
People who have used abuse and violence on others feel embarrassed they lost control, guilty they hurt the people who they say they love, ashamed they behaved in a poor way.
We understand guilt, and shame are large drivers in repeating abusive behaviours. What we do is help you to find the courage to take that first step. There is no judgement, no blaming – just the offer to help you make the changes in your behaviours to benefit your family and your self
But you have to put your inner critic on hold for a few minutes and make that call to us to start the discussion.
This is what you do.
Somstic Violence and Family Abuse covers a range of behaviours and actions that have one thing in common.
Did the actions you made, the words you said, the body gestures you made, to your partner or children result in them feeling scared or unsafe.
It is not about what you think – it is all about how they felt being in your company when you behaved the way did.
It is also not about whsat you intended to do – whether you use abisive behaviours is all about what ACTUALLY did and how it felt for your family.
Whatever you label yourself is again not the point –
What the CRITICAL point is, is do you want to have a family that feels that way about you, who leave you alone when you enter a room, who only talk to you when you shout at them and who do not invite you to share their lives?
If you want different relationships with your children and your partner, even a different relationship with the mother of your children – then get over your concern regarding the title you do not want.
Make the call to us to make a difference in your life – or just stay stuck where you are as you feel more and more isolated.
Relationships need two people to work together in order to make them fulfilling and successful.
Here’s the reality check though – you cannot control anyone else’s actions and behaviour over the long term. Parents overly control their young children and are then astonished their teenagers are going their own way without them.
Your partner may be contributing to the use of abuse and violence in your home – but that is not the point here. You cannot change her and you cannot make her change.
What you can do is focus where you have the power to bring about change in your family – in YOURSELF and your own behaviours and actions you take.
How you choose to behave in your family is direct result of the decisions you make – and you need to concentrate on changing yourself if you want to have family relationships which are respectful, warm and encouraging.
In Australia, and around the world, the rates of domestic violence against women and children is high.
The Bureau of Statistics (2022) shares:
- 23% of all women have experienced at least one incidence of violence by a partner in their lifetime
- 65% of reported DFV cases against women were by their intimate partner, and carried out in their homes
- 1 women a week in 2024 was killed by her male partner
The statistics tell the story. More women are abused by men than anyone else in their lives.
the media and research acknowledge that all men do not use abuse in their relationships – but the experience shows that it men who commit more DFV actions than women.
the messsage is clear – without blame thohse men who choose to abuse and violence have to stop their own behaviours.
For those men who do not use abuse and violence they are needed to openly talk about the “Not to Violence against Women and children” message as the core of their expectations for what society today says is acceptable masculine behaviour.